I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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