God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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