i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
