i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
