Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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