after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
