He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
