I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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