Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
