Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
