this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
