In the future we'll all be gay
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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