she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
