Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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