and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
