it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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