Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
