He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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