yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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