I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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