Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
