I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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