I heard we made out
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
