I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
