try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
