Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
soo... how was my night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
