Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
