need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
