I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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