i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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