Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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