I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
