god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
