she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
