felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry about my life...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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