i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
