I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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