I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
