Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Everclear isn't food dammit
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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