Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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