The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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