I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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