Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
