That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
