remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
