I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
