So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
