My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
