I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
