So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
