is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
